A while ago I blogged on the various surgical personalities we all encounter. I really love slagging surgeons but lets face it, people who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.
Lets meet my department.
Dr. Perfect's shit doesn't smell and has never smelt. Every thing about his cases are perfect and only because he is doing them.
Dr. Cancel only likes to do ASA I cases. Anything else he will find some excuse not to do the case or he will make life so difficult for everybody involved including the patient.
Dr. Wallet can look down the OR slate and tell within $10 how much every person is going to make that day. AND he better be making more than everybody else! Dr. Wallet spends most of his days either complaining to the list assignor that he didn't get the most lucrative list or at the front desk trying to get cases moved into his room. Fortunately you will only have to deal with Dr. Wallet for a few years as he will soon leave your department to work in a private surgical suite.
Dr. Chatty loves to talk. This will include a long talk with the patient mostly unrelated to the patient's medical history or the surgical procedure before finally putting the patient to sleep. Usually Dr. Chatty has to be paged several times from the lounge where he is holding court.
Dr. Block loves regional anaesthesia. His enthusiasm for blocks is only matched by his lack of speed and ineptness in performing them.
Fortunately he only works in teaching hospitals. Dr. Science loves research. Unfortunately most of his research involves you doing your cases according his research protocol which means not doing things the way you find comfortable, having your case delayed by his research assistant and having to draw blood at intervals when you could be doing something useful like reading the paper. Dr. Science's papers are always published with himself as the sole author and no acknowledgments. He is always the co-author on all the research done by residents even if he didn't actually do any of the research.
Dr. Rambo never has an easy case. Every of his (her) cases is the sickest patient being subjected to the worst horrendoplasty, brought back from the brink only through Dr. Rambo's skill. Dr. Rambo will give you a lunch break; when you come back your ASA 1 gall bladder has an art line, 7 French CVP and is on norepinephrine.
Dr. Bucket carries a huge ice cream bucket filled with multiple ETT, stylets, bougies, syringes, minibags and who know what else. When you can't find a piece of equipment, you ask the nurses to search Dr. Bucket's bucket. There are variations including fanny packs and tackle boxes.
Just like his surgical cousin, Dr. Whiny is never happy. If his list doesn't end precisely between 1500 and 1530 he will complain about working too long or not enough. Likewise call is either too busy or not busy enough.
Dr. Tightass missed his calling as an internist. He rigorously interrogates each patient before surgery, and looks for lab work that hasn't been invented yet. Dr. Tightass's anaesthetic records are completely filled out on both sides to the point that you can't decipher anything anyway.