Insert foot here

Men and women have different fat profiles. Men develope a beer belly like Randy on Trailer Park boys; women tend to store their fat all over their body. This difference usually helps us tell whether a woman is pregant or is merely fat.

I was at a meeting recently when I ran into a clinician who had trained with me a couple of years ago, who I had met at meetings since and had always enjoyed a good long talk. It had been a couple of years since I met her and the first thing I noted was the protruding belly. "Oh", I thought, "She is pregnant." So as we re-introduced ourselves, I made the usual banal joke I make whenever I meet someone who is pregnant. "Gained a little weight, have we?", I joked. "Actually, I have," she said. It was apparently a side effect of the meds that she was on. There was an uncomfortable silence, I exchanged a few pleasantries and made an excuse to get the hell out of there.

This is not the first time I have done this. When I was doing locums, I did it a couple of times which is probably one reason I wasn't a very good or popular GP. One time I was seeing a lady who I had never seen before. Her chart had a pre-natal chart on it, which if I had actually looked closer was 2 years old. I went into the office and there she was lying on the bed with her protruding belly. So I went into prenatal mode, only to find out she was actually in for a cold or something. This happened at least one other time but I don't remember the details.

Live and learn. Remove foot.