Monday, February 26, 2007

Rate MDs.com

I heard about this new site where patients could rate their docs. I practise chronic pain medicine so I was a little curious about how people saw me.

Not surprisingly somebody had already rated me and she was not happy. There was however only one post and so I am hoping somebody else who is happy with me will actually post although I am not holding my breath and I haven't sunk as low as asking people to please post so my rating will go up (not that it hasn't crossed my mind).

I have pissed off a lot of people in the last few years and I would like to appologize.

1. Sorry I wouldn't prescribe any more narcotics for you after your third positive drug screen. I really didn't care that you were using crystal meth and coke, I was curious how you were paying for them.

2. Sorry I wasn't that interested in hearing how great your insert alternate health provider here is and how stupid every other doctor was. I just knew that you were going to add me to that list within a few months.

3. Sorry I didn't know what drugs you were on when you didn't bring a list and your doctor didn't send one with his referral. I should have known what that green pill was and besides doctors are part of a collective consciousness.

4. Sorry if I wasn't sympathetic on the phone when you called in the middle of a busy clinic after missing your last two appointments.

5. Sorry I didn't spend a lot of time with you after I squeezed you in at the request of your GP in front of a year's worth of patients.

6. Sorry that WCB doesn't jump to my commands. Maybe you should clue into the fact that you really don't need a doctor, you need a lawyer.

7. Sorry your condition was not diagnosed or treated by the seven doctors who saw you before me. Now can you try to get on with you life and let me make some suggestions that might actually help you.

8. Sorry that you quit school to work on the oil rigs and now your days of six figures are over due to your back injury.

I'm sure I will think of some more things to appologize for. After all I AM CANADIAN.

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